As time goes on, it’s normal for the initial excitement, butterflies, and passion felt in a relationship to plateau. Some people call this early period in the relationship the “honeymoon phase”, and it can feel scary and uncertain when it comes to an end. But rest assured, this transition is a normal part of every relationship and doesn’t mean you don’t still love or excite each other. 

Whether you and your partner have recently come out of this honeymoon phase or have several decades of union under your belt, it can be helpful to find ways to reignite the spark in your relationship and drum up passion in a way that reminds you both why you’re together. 

Realize That It’s Okay to Not Feel “In Love” All the Time

It’s scary when the butterflies settle and the initial spark feels a little more distant than it once did. But it’s important to remember that it’s normal to not feel “in love” all the time. Love is fluid and chemical, so just like our moods, feelings of love come and go based on our experiences. Try practicing mindfulness when you feel “out of love” with your partner. Remember that it’s a temporary feeling, and you have the power to change those feelings, to reignite the spark by giving your relationship a little extra attention. 

Engage in Fun, Adrenaline-filled Activities

The early months of a relationship are filled with adrenaline, and we often attribute that happiness and excitement to our partners. In reality, it’s the experience of meeting someone new, navigating the uncertainty of your feelings, and coming to the conclusion that you both want to be with each other that really gets your blood pumping. That’s exciting stuff! And as the relationship grows, we can experience those same feelings with our partners by seeking out experiences that pump up our adrenaline, like watching a scary movie or completing an escape room or going out to a steamy burlesque show. There are tons of fun, exciting activities that will get your heart racing, and this can create some of the same sensations you both experienced at the beginning of your relationship.

Be Intimate & Physical

This part can go two different ways depending on the nature of your relationship in the present. For instance, if you have a satisfying sex life, you might benefit from taking time to explore non-sexual physical intimacy, such as hand-holding or cuddling. On the other hand, if your relationship lacks sexual intimacy, you will most likely benefit from spicing things up in the bedroom. There are lots of ways to engage in sexual and non-sexual physical intimacy, but both have the ability to rekindle feelings of passion. Talk to your partner about which form of physical intimacy your relationship would benefit from the most and start there.

Revisit the Past

Many of our memories carry emotions, and when we re-engage with our past, we experience many of those feelings all over again. The same is true for couples. Think about the early years of your marriage, from your first kiss to your wedding day. What are some activities, memories, or even items that recall feelings of love for your partner? Reflect on these together, and see if you can relive some of those experiences now. The idea here is not to lament a bygone time, but rather to remember what excites and enamors you and your partner.

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