Discernment Counseling In Denver
It might be the hardest decision of your life. Let us help you find your path.
Have you been thinking about divorce for quite a while, and it’s causing extreme distress and pain for you?
You might feel stuck in a place where you and/or your spouse are thinking about divorce but are not completely sure if that is the best path?
You might be making a list of “pros” and “cons” to determine if you want to stay in the relationship or not.
Denver Stay or Go/Discernment Counseling is NOT Marital Counseling.
In Discernment Counselling, you do not have to be sure if you want to stay in the marriage or not. There is no pressure to make a specific decision.
Our job as your therapist is not to convince you and your spouse to stay in or get a divorce. You and your spouse need time and space to make a decision. Our job is to provide an objective, supportive space to thoroughly consider all of your options. Denver Discernment Counseling gives you the space to breath, slow down and look at all the options to make an informed decision.
Both people do not have to agree to “working on the marriage.” It is specifically designed for couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship – and not sure if the marriage could be saved by marriage counseling, and the other person is “leaning in” – still want to rebuild the marriage.
What are the Goals of Discernment Counseling at The Relationship Center of Colorado?
A deeper understanding of what has happened to your marriage and what might be possible for the future
Examine all options about possible next steps to decide what direction to take for your marriage, and confidence as you move forward
Better understanding of each person’s contributions to the problems
What is the Structure of Stay or Go/Discernment Counseling?
One to five sessions with a decision each session whether to meet again. In other words, you are only signing up now for one session, and you can decide each time whether to meet again—up to five sessions.
The first session is two hours, and the rest are 1. 5 hours.
In the sessions, the first part is with the two of you together in the room, the next part with each of you separately, and the last part is back together.
What Are My Options?
The goal is not to solve your problems but to help you decide whether to try to solve your problems. It’s not about immediate change in your relationship, but seeing if change is even possible.
We focus on three paths.
Path 1 is the marriage as it has been.
Path 2 is separation or divorce.
Path 3 is an all-out effort for six months, with couples therapy and other resources, going to build a strong marriage that would still be good for both of you.
Within those six months, you are committed to working on your problems, with divorce off the table, and then you decide at the end of that time whether to stay married, based on what you have learned during the six months.
The most intensive work goes on in the one-to-one conversations with each of you separately, which is different from regular marriage counseling. The is because each of you are in a different place and we want to help you individually sort out how to move forward.
Discernment Counseling, or Stay or Go, is NOT suitable when:
One spouse has made a final decision to divorce and wants counseling to encourage the other spouse accept that decision
There is a danger of domestic violence
There is an Order of Protection from the court
One spouse is coercing the other to participate
There are no bad guys or good guys in this process.We will respect your reasons for whichever path you decide while trying to help you gain a deeper understanding of what was missing for you and open up the possibility of restoring the marriage.
You can run away from one relationship and one partner, but you cannot run away from yourself. You are still going to bring yourself to your next relationship - why not use this current relationship to learn more about yourself?
