Learning to Trust After Trauma
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Trust and trauma: the two big T's of mental health. When we experience trauma, not only does it hinder our ability to trust those we feel have wronged us, it also leaves a lasting impression on our memories. It's surprisingly common to experience triggers involving past trauma, and exposing ourselves to our triggers can cause fear, anxiety, or depression. When our trauma involves another person and a betrayal of trust, that's when it's time to take a step back and assess the situation before attempting to move forward with your relationship with this person. Whether it's a spouse, family member, or coworker, trauma can affect our relationships and our ability to trust others in future relationships. To avoid closing ourselves off to potential safe havens of trust, it's important to learn how our trauma may be affecting our ability to believe in and rely on others. Once we know the root of our triggers, we can work toward overcoming them and pursuing trusting relationships with those we know are worthy of our trust.
Why Trust Matters to Us
We learn to trust others in one of the first stages of human social development. It's key in how we gain knowledge and learn behaviors that stay with us into adulthood. Trust matters to us because it ensures safety. If we can trust someone with our time, our love, our bodies, our kids, or any other aspect of our lives, we are saying that we feel safe with that person in those aspects of our lives. We need to be able to trust our romantic partners, ensuring we feel safe in our daily lives. It can be difficult to break down the mental barriers that come with PTSD and other effects of trauma, but there are ways to navigate issues of trust in a relationship .
Overcoming Fear of Trust
First and foremost, it's important to realize that trust takes time, whether establishing it for the first time or rebuilding it after trauma. The uncertainty around whether or not we will be let down or betrayed can be paralyzing, but with the help of a licensed relationship counselor and a some positive mental health practices, it is possible to overcome fears of trust and slowly ease into a life where trust feels natural and safe. Here are a few places to start:
Set Firm Boundaries
Focus on (Trusting) Yourself
Realize Your Root Fears
Practice Forgiving Yourself and Others
Strive Toward Positive Life Changes
Stay tuned for more about trust and trauma in future blogs. In the meantime, for more relationship advice and information on relationship therapy services, follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter!
