Why Are So Many People Insecure About Their Pleasure?

For a lot of people, especially women, there is or has been some guilt or shame around masturbation and sexual pleasure. There are a lot of root causes for these feelings, but some of the main ones can include lack of sexual education or conversation, discomfort with one’s own body, religiously or culturally-based sexual oppression, or internal relationship guilt from a partner. Feelings of shame and guilt are quite common when it comes to self-pleasuring activities especially. 

Sometimes we just need to change the way we think about things to make progress. When we are finally able to perceive sexual pleasure as something that we deserve for self-love, self-care, physical health, and sexual wellness, we can outweigh the negatives with the benefits. 

Due to the amount of body shame and commentary women face in today’s society and culture, it can be hard to feel that our bodies are worth pleasuring and we deserve to do so without guilt. Masturbation and self-pleasure can be a very important part of the self-care routine. 

Progressing Sexual Pleasure and Desire

When we are coming out of feelings of shame, sometimes jumping right into sex or masturbation isn’t the easiest or best way to explore our bodies and desires. However, there are many other ways we can explore our bodies. For example, touching ourselves around our thighs, tummies, or other soft and sensitive areas. You can even try throwing in some oil to make the touch on your body more discreet and gentle. 

And if touching your body, in general, feels like too much or too overwhelming, another place to start can just be looking at your body and becoming familiar with it. Many women don’t even know what their vaginas look like. Taking a mirror and simply looking at ourselves is a great place to start and a way to ease into everything. 

It is so, so important to recognize that we are not ashamed or weirded out by our bodies because of us as people, but because of our own social and cultural perspectives that have been forced on us. You deserve to enjoy your body, you deserve to self-care and pleasure yourself, and you deserve to love the way your body can make you feel.

Support Options

It’s not always realistic to take this on yourself. Maybe you need to talk through cultural or religious shifts in life and the impact they’ve had on you. Maybe you just can’t get past “x, y, z…” and need to talk through those and how they apply to you as an individual.

Regardless, our team at The Relationship Center of Colorado is here for you and ready to help support you on your journey to loving yourself, your body, and pleasure. 

You can check our out relationship and individual therapy options on this page or click here to contact us and set up a consultation. s