Exploring Kink for The First Time

Kink, vanilla, fetish, BDSM – they’re all terms we’ve heard and thought about when we’re faced with the idea of “kink.” But maybe those words fascinate you? And maybe you or you and your partner are thinking about trying out kink? If so, this is the right place for you to be right now!

Kink and BDSM Defined

Kink is anything sexual or pleasurable that differs from society’s basic expectation of intercourse in a romantic relationship. Sometimes, this can be referred to as “vanilla sex” but everyone’s perspective can differ.

BDSM: Bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism.

Use Your Words During Kink and BDSM

Often before a kink or BDSM “scene” or situation takes place, all parties involved will discuss what the expectation for the interaction is. This could be defined from start to finish or could even be talking through various ideas of what could happen and identifying what could feel good, comfortable, and exciting and is off-limits before starting. You always want to make sure that you and the person or people you are engaging sexually with are on the same page. Know your limits and don’t push them when you’re in a new situation.

Kinky Research

Kink is fascinating, but it’s not just something you can dive into without reading or learning about it. You and your partner may have different limits, interests, power dynamics, and experiences with kink and BDSM.

Oftentimes, actions as simple as spanking with different types of toys or materials have different aspects of safety you need to keep in mind with your partner. Many types of kink like bondage, whipping, slapping, locking up, and other types of restraint require some sort of experience or training to ensure you’re handling the other person safely and respectfully.

When you dive in and start learning about kinky things that interest you, push yourself to think past it and think tangentially. What else could you be interested in that you haven’t considered? Is there something related to what you think you want that may be equally or even more appealing?

Often the idea of “being kinky” is enough to raise sexual interest, but in actual play, it may not be what you expected. For this reason, it’s important to expose yourself and do your research about all types of kinks that could be interesting to you.

Play Time!

Trust is essential when participating in kink or BDSM. Remember to talk about your boundaries, safe words, and expectations together before every engagement.

Sex and Relationship Therapy

Whether you’re interested in talking through sex as it relates to your body and health or how it relates to yourself and your relationships, our team of certified sex and relationship therapists is here to teach and support you along the way. You can learn more about our sex therapy and relationship services by clicking here. If you’re ready to jump in and get connected for a consultation, please head to our Contact Page!